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6.05.2008

How White am I?

If you haven't checked out the hysterical site Stuff White People Like, I highly recommend that you do. If not for the things listed that call out many white people in this country, do it for the heated comments that people leave who have no sense of humor/wouldn't get it to save their lives.

It blows me away that the author started this site in JANUARY OF THIS YEAR, and already he has a book coming out in July in addition to the nearly 30 million hits to his site to date. If only we could all be so lucky.

I was going through the list and started to wonder how truly white I am. And if I don't fall into the category of "white," what exactly does that make me then? Let's analyze:

Very me:

1. Coffee

5. Farmer's markets

6. Organic food

23. Microbrews

24. Wine

32. Vegan/Vegetarianism

36. Breakfast places

40. Apple products

42. Sushi

48. Whole Foods and grocery co-ops

49. Vintage

53. Dogs

54. Kitchen gadgets

59. Natural medicine

63. Expensive sandwiches

77. Musical comedy

86. Shorts

87. Outdoor performance clothes

90. Dinner parties

92. Book deals (I wish!)

93. Music piracy (in the form of checking out CDs at the library, anyway)

96. New Balance shoes

99. Grammar

On the fence about:

9. Making you feel bad about going outside

19. Traveling

21. Writer's workshops

37. Renovations

44. Public radio (I only like it when they play jazz- any other time it makes me want to gouge my eyes out with hot pitchforks.)

Things white people like that I definitely don't like/irritate the crap out of me:

8. Barack Obama

15. Yoga

18. Awareness

25. David Sedaris

33. Marijuana

35. The Daily Show/Colbert Report

52. Sarah Silverman

55. Apologies (I laughed so hard at this one... I heard a lady in Kohl's the other day say, "I'm sorry, those are mine," to an employee who was trying to organize the area and I wondered why in the world she felt the need to apologize for that fact.)

56. Lawyers (Oops... did I say that out loud?)

62. Knowing what's best for poor people

66. Divorce

67. Standing still at concerts (why bother going?)

75. Threatening to move to Canada (JUST GO ALREADY!)

94. Free healthcare

101. Being offended (Three words: Get. Over. Yourself.)

Everything else I'm indifferent on.

So, if I we average one point for everything I agree with, half a point for everything I'm on the fence about, a quarter of a point for everything I'm indifferent about, and minus one for everything I don't like, my analysis tells me that I am only 25% white.

And 75%... white trash?

2 comments:

A* said...

really? yoga irritates the crap out of you? Does that mean that I, by association, since I love yoga, also irritate the crap out of you?

Ha ha.

ummm.

I hope not!

a. said...

Hello my BFF.

No, that most certainly does not mean that you irritate the crap out of me. But my experience in a 105-degree yoga studio being felt up by the weirdo instructor sweating my butt off in pretzel-like positions that I can only half do... THAT irritates the crap out of me. More power to anyone who can actually do it! God knows I can't even touch my toes anymore.